There are many articles published on the impact of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) on soldiers and veterans. It is no doubt a commonly explored and very interesting concept. The topic of PTSD is prevalent in this day and age. It is discussed frequently in the in schooling and psychological areas. Growing up in a family filled with soldiers, it was always a topic near to my heart.
In much of the conversation of PTSD, we learn about its overall relationship with veterans and soldiers. Despite the stigma and biases still surrounding mental health, it is apparent that in the past few decades the world has really paid attention to the impact of war and trauma on our soldiers, a much-needed area of focus. Every day soldiers have risked their lives for us so that we may be free in return, the least we can do is try to help them heal when they get back.
In recent years, research on PTSD has expanded its scope of trauma analyses and application. Currently, there is greater emphasis on other domains of the human experience and how trauma can play a role. A favorite article of mine I came across during my PhD program investigates how trauma is influential within the life of a soldier, but how it is also very much applicable to civilians as well (Quinn, 2008). One idea in particular stood out above the rest: The shattered self-survives.
The shattered self-survives. This article addressed the psychological development of the soldier. Beginning with the novice soldier, they are referred to as the civilian self. This soldier has yet to be introduced to the harsh world and future that lies before them and still remains overall ignorant to the potential for pain. They do not know and cannot yet comprehend what they are about to go through. Then, they enter into the army. They go through a breakdown of the civilian self and create a new self that focuses much on following training protocol. A new military self is now born and this new creation has a new purpose that is strengthened through friendship with others in the army, a shared community with others in a similar space. Furthermore, this new military self builds connections with their community through the accomplishing and winning of a common goal: combat. The new self is eventually shattered as is common within combat, the soldiers “fight, flight, or freeze” instincts are tested regularly, something that our bodies are not accustomed to as it draws consistently on our energy reserves thus leading us to physical, mental, and emotional depletion. This leads to our conversation starter: The shattered self-survives. The concept that the soldiers combat training may have indeed saved their life, yet at what cost? This article argues that the soldier consequently comes to regard combat mode as more than necessary and a continuous way to stay alive, as it is the new normal for them. This shattered self-returns home post war and struggles to turn off combat mode. The shattered self-survives.
A fascinating concept that deserves attention. As therapists, we encounter many people that identify as having shattered selves, even those outside of the military. The everyday persons combat looks different than it does on the battlefield. Maybe at first glance their combat looks trivial or insignificant compared to the death and fear of war. Yet, sometimes trivial and insignificant things are disguisers of great pain and hurt. The everyday civilian person walks around from the outside appearing as a beautiful, whole self; yet, after working as a trauma informed therapist for a few years now, I would venture to say the majority of us feel more shattered and barely surviving than we do whole and beautiful.
The shattered self of your everyday person versus the soldier can and does look very different. The everyday shattered self-suffers from childhood abuse, or unmet emotional needs, or the guilt of unproductive or unfulfilling life decisions. The everyday trauma someone can experience is all encompassing and diverse. A huge reason why being a therapist is such fulfilling work is that I am consistently reminded everyday of the strength and perseverance from clients as they continue to move forward, despite the challenges. Remember. The shattered self-survives.
Furthermore, it is important to state that there is beauty in the shattered self, not just the experience of pain. Just as pressure, challenge, and constant training render a fine and quality soldier, the pressures and expectations (& yes, trauma) of life helps reveal to us the inner strength and resiliency we have. How do we define strength? Strength can very much be a subjective opinion; but waking up every day and deciding to continue despite the broken fragments of ourselves is an utter testimony to the strength of the human experience. The shattered self-survives.
Maybe we can change this term up a bit? Yes, no doubt survival is key and those of yall reading this fulfill the criteria of surviving! Yet, don’t we want more? Do we want to strive to find more than just contentment in our daily experience? Do we want to truly thrive? Gosh, then the next question is how can we thrive as our shattered self?
The shattered self-offers more than just a mere reminder of trauma and challenges, it is a symbol of never-ending growth and promise. Never be embarrassed or ashamed of your shattered self. Its scars shows what you have overcome and is a testimate to the devotion to self. There will be times that it feels we cannot continue, that merely getting up out of bed is a challenge. That we are too broken to proceed or too incompetent for that new job position or too traumatized for a new friendship or relationship. I would challenge you, if you experience any of these thoughts, to take a deeper look into your own shattered self and see what I and so many others see- beauty and courage. And remember: the shattered self-survives.
