Losing someone special can leave you feeling lonely during Thanksgiving dinner without that loved one. You can't help but notice the empty chair next to you. Thanksgiving/ Holidays are generally known as joyful occasions filled with laughter, delicious food, and bonds of love. Grief can cast a shadow on the holiday and you may not be able to enjoy it fully and feel present. It may be difficult to watch others celebrate because of the absence of the individual, and recollections can bring up a variety of emotions during the holiday season; especially, thinking of the wonderful meal you and the loved one shared, and cherishing the beautiful memories of the time spent together. Being without this person during this holiday season can be very overwhelming. The first few years following death can be very difficult. Thanksgiving is a time when family members gather together to share memories and eat together; however, some members of a family may attempt to mask their grief as if they are not suffering. Therefore, during this season, it is particularly important to support one another. Remember that grief affects people differently, so be patient with yourself and others during this time. We grieve because we love, we become attached, we share similar interests, and we create many wonderful memories together. It is normal to think about the people we love during the holiday season. People can find the holiday season challenging during this time of year. There are many emotions that can be triggered by these special occasions, including anxiety, depression, anger, disbelief, and sadness.

Here are a few steps to cope with grief during the holidays.

  • Embrace the holiday's challenges. Feelings can be shared with a friend or family member whom you feel comfortable sharing them with. It is OK.
  • Choose an activity that you enjoy and reminds you of them, such as their favorite meal or song.
  • Feel what you are feeling. It is okay to laugh and have fun while grieving.
  • It's okay to say NO. You do not have to attend events or celebrations that may be too painful for you to participate in. However, do not isolate yourself from others. 
  • It is important to surround yourself with the people you love, memories can sometimes be a source of comfort, by telling stories and looking at pictures.

In light of this, Melissa, how can I explore these feelings I'm experiencing during the grieving process in a deeper way? If you would like to begin working with Therapist Melissa on your grief, please do not hesitate to contact at melissa@pacificacounseling.org.